Dad

I'm up late. I'm sad. I just have to get my feelings out, so I'm typing whatever comes to me.

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I look out my front window.
It's night. It's dark outside.
I see houses up and down the block.
Each house has people, families inside.
Most of these people probably still have their fathers.
There's a guy on his bicycle.
He's probably still got his dad.
Behind him, there's a girl on her bike.
She's probably got her dad too.
Do they realize what they've got?
Do they know they should take advantage of it?
Are their dads as good as mine was?
Do they love their dads like I love mine?
Do their dad's love them like mine loved me?
Then I remember the 80 something year old man across the street.
He lives alone.
He has kids though. They visit him.
He really seems to love them.
He probably won't be around too long for his kids.
But, his kids are probably in their 50's or 60's.
I'm only 25. And my dad's not here.
It doesn't seem fair. I miss him so much.
We had a special relationship.
I guess a lot of people don't get that with their fathers.
But I did, and that's good.
My dad is with God now. Someday I'll be there too.
But not now. For now, we can't talk to each other.
We can't see each other. I just have to miss him and know he's okay.
It hurts, but it's okay. My dad is okay.
And not too long from now, I'll see him again.
We'll hug. We'll talk. We'll listen to music again.
For now I'll wait. And someday soon, maybe I'll have kids too.
And maybe I can be a good dad while I wait.