Sunday, May 14, 2006, my dad lost his life to cancer, and a lack of nutrition due to a bowel obstruction. I may write more details later. But, for now I'm drained. All I have to say is this. My father is in heaven now. He has seen the full and complete glory of God Himself, face to face. He now knows his savior, not only in spirit, but in the flesh.
He no longer suffers. He no longer sins. He knows perfect beauty. He understands so much more than we do now. Not that I want my own life to be cut short, but I long for the day when he and I are together again, seeing and experiencing God's glory together.
If you knew my dad, please post memories of him at http://donwelch.blogspot.com.
David
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Letting Go
(typed May 8, but posted on May 9)
Sometimes, we come to a point of understanding and comfort in letting go of a person we love dearly. It often seems foreign, strange, or wrong to those around us who haven't yet reached that same point of view. And that's okay. It also doesn't always mean that we, in being comfortable with somone's death, are hoping for it. Of course, we can hope against hope when all looks bleak. Jesus raised Lazurus after 4 days in the tomb. He himself was raised after 3 days. God doesn't need for a person to be at some certain threshold of health to still be able to fix them. He also doesn't choose to fix everyone who gets really sick.
As I type this, I am sitting by my father's bed side in the hospital. His body has been ravaged by cancer, and yet even further still by dehydration, malnutrition, and strong doses of chemotherapy drugs. He has no energy in and of himself. He sleeps. He eats ice chips. The nurses turn him to help him deal with bed sores. Occasionally, he comes to from the morphine enough, and musters up enough strength to talk for a short while. Those times are a real blessing. But, there's not really much of my dad left inside this shell of a person.
That's really sad to me. Sometimes it causes me to cry, to weep for the fear of being without my dad, one of my best friends, for the rest of my life. But, always I know that it's okay. Always, God gives me comfort. The truth of God's word brings great comfort to my mind, body and soul. I am praying for miraculous healing for my dad right now. But, I know that death has no finality to it, when one is alive in Christ. Death brings comfort for the sick when their comfort is found in Christ. Death brings reward for the one who's treasures are not stored up in this life, but in our own resurrection, where we identify with Christ, and are raised up as co-heirs into God's glory. Death brings perfect peace, joy and eternal happiness when one knows the Lord.
If my dad should die, now, in two weeks, six months, or 20 years, when he does, he will not be far from me. Not only will I be able to see him throughout eternity, but even now, for the rest of my life, I will know that he is still as much as ever a living and active part of my family in God. Not just some idea or memory of what my dad once was. Instead, my very dad will be more alive than me, since my body is still dying all the time. Once we are with God fully, we are incorruptable, and need not fear sickness, death, or any of the things we currently think of as "bad". In God's presence, we will understand joy... real joy. And peace... real peace. We will not suffer. In this life we suffer some, for a while. It grows character in us and causes us to know more fully the things God purposes for us to know. And that's good. My dad understands that. My mom and my brother and I do to. We hope against hope for his life, but we will also be comforted in his death, knowing he's the lucky one, the first one of us that gets to fully understand glorifying God and enjoying Him forever.
Sometimes, we come to a point of understanding and comfort in letting go of a person we love dearly. It often seems foreign, strange, or wrong to those around us who haven't yet reached that same point of view. And that's okay. It also doesn't always mean that we, in being comfortable with somone's death, are hoping for it. Of course, we can hope against hope when all looks bleak. Jesus raised Lazurus after 4 days in the tomb. He himself was raised after 3 days. God doesn't need for a person to be at some certain threshold of health to still be able to fix them. He also doesn't choose to fix everyone who gets really sick.
As I type this, I am sitting by my father's bed side in the hospital. His body has been ravaged by cancer, and yet even further still by dehydration, malnutrition, and strong doses of chemotherapy drugs. He has no energy in and of himself. He sleeps. He eats ice chips. The nurses turn him to help him deal with bed sores. Occasionally, he comes to from the morphine enough, and musters up enough strength to talk for a short while. Those times are a real blessing. But, there's not really much of my dad left inside this shell of a person.
That's really sad to me. Sometimes it causes me to cry, to weep for the fear of being without my dad, one of my best friends, for the rest of my life. But, always I know that it's okay. Always, God gives me comfort. The truth of God's word brings great comfort to my mind, body and soul. I am praying for miraculous healing for my dad right now. But, I know that death has no finality to it, when one is alive in Christ. Death brings comfort for the sick when their comfort is found in Christ. Death brings reward for the one who's treasures are not stored up in this life, but in our own resurrection, where we identify with Christ, and are raised up as co-heirs into God's glory. Death brings perfect peace, joy and eternal happiness when one knows the Lord.
If my dad should die, now, in two weeks, six months, or 20 years, when he does, he will not be far from me. Not only will I be able to see him throughout eternity, but even now, for the rest of my life, I will know that he is still as much as ever a living and active part of my family in God. Not just some idea or memory of what my dad once was. Instead, my very dad will be more alive than me, since my body is still dying all the time. Once we are with God fully, we are incorruptable, and need not fear sickness, death, or any of the things we currently think of as "bad". In God's presence, we will understand joy... real joy. And peace... real peace. We will not suffer. In this life we suffer some, for a while. It grows character in us and causes us to know more fully the things God purposes for us to know. And that's good. My dad understands that. My mom and my brother and I do to. We hope against hope for his life, but we will also be comforted in his death, knowing he's the lucky one, the first one of us that gets to fully understand glorifying God and enjoying Him forever.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Update on My Dad
I thought I would update everyone on my dad's situation right now.
Yesterday, he was at the oncology clinic, and they realized he was severely dehydrated, and that he wasn't being able to get enough nutrition. This is something we (my family) had already noticed and asked the doctors to look into. So, they put him back in the hospital. This is his third stay now in 2 months. They immediately began pumping iv fluids in him and are giving him nutrition through his iv this morning. This morning, before my dad's morning labs were in, the doctor said my dad's kidneys were headed back toward failure again. But, after they looked at this morning's labs, his kidney function was beginning to move toward a more normal range.
On top of that, we had also decided, based on the pains he was having, and some other factors, that he might have a slight bowel obstruction. After x-rays last night, we now know this was correct. He may have to have a minor laproscopic procedure to correct this, or it may correct itself with proper hydration and nutrition.
The doctors are going to watch his kidney function, and if it is close enough to normal by the end of the week, they will then go ahead and start his second round of chemo which was supposed to begin today. If his kidney function does not return to normal, that will most likely mean a decision to discontinue chemo, which is currently his only hope for dealing with the cancer.
So, we are praying that his kidney function returns to normal rapidly, that his bowel obstruction would self correct with proper hydration and nutrition, and that they would be able to get him back on track with his chemo.
Right now though, my dad is physically feeling better than he has in a couple of weeks. The fluids and nutrition are doing him a lot of good.
Thank you guys for all of your prayers. They mean a lot to me and my family.
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3
Yesterday, he was at the oncology clinic, and they realized he was severely dehydrated, and that he wasn't being able to get enough nutrition. This is something we (my family) had already noticed and asked the doctors to look into. So, they put him back in the hospital. This is his third stay now in 2 months. They immediately began pumping iv fluids in him and are giving him nutrition through his iv this morning. This morning, before my dad's morning labs were in, the doctor said my dad's kidneys were headed back toward failure again. But, after they looked at this morning's labs, his kidney function was beginning to move toward a more normal range.
On top of that, we had also decided, based on the pains he was having, and some other factors, that he might have a slight bowel obstruction. After x-rays last night, we now know this was correct. He may have to have a minor laproscopic procedure to correct this, or it may correct itself with proper hydration and nutrition.
The doctors are going to watch his kidney function, and if it is close enough to normal by the end of the week, they will then go ahead and start his second round of chemo which was supposed to begin today. If his kidney function does not return to normal, that will most likely mean a decision to discontinue chemo, which is currently his only hope for dealing with the cancer.
So, we are praying that his kidney function returns to normal rapidly, that his bowel obstruction would self correct with proper hydration and nutrition, and that they would be able to get him back on track with his chemo.
Right now though, my dad is physically feeling better than he has in a couple of weeks. The fluids and nutrition are doing him a lot of good.
Thank you guys for all of your prayers. They mean a lot to me and my family.
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3
Thursday, April 20, 2006
3 Long Weeks With No Time to Write
For anyone who does not know, my dad is dealing with colon cancer that has spread quickly through his lymph system. He had surgery to remove the right half of his colon on March 3rd, and since then, he has spent 18 nights in the hospital.
That's much of what I'm dealing with right now. Watching my dad deal with pain, emotions, embarassments. Helping him with daily care.
This week has been very long for me. My dad actually progressed enough to come home from the hospital yesterday though which is good. I took my brother and his wife and daughter to the airport yesterday. They had been in town for about 11 days, a big blessing. We are transitioning back to my dad being home again, trying to eat, deal with nausea, and figure out how to do other basic things that have to be done very carefully when you are receiving chemo treatment.
Some praises. His kidney function, which looked very bad earlier this week, causing the doctors to consider dialysis, has completely reversed itself and is almost back to normal again. The chemo seems to be having some good physical effets, as it's lessening his back pain for the first time in months. Some other uncomfortable areas that have had swelling are going down slightly too. He is managing pain pretty well with minimal help.
Prayer requests. His throat has been ripped up by vomiting, and there are very few foods that he can tolerate because of this. Pray that his throat will begin to heal. Pray that he will keep food down to get the calories and nutrients his body needs. Pray that swelling in his legs from sitting for days in the hospital will go down. And, pray for other swelling due to the cancer to go down as well. He is getting better sleep now than before he went to the hospital this time, so that's good. Pray that he will continue to be able to get the basics his body needs to survive, good sleep, proper food and drink, etc, and that the chemo would continue to work effectively.
He goes into his oncologist on Tuesday morning for blood work to check for tumor markers in his blood, to make sure his white blood cell counts are high enough, and to further check his kidney function. Pray that the results show marked improvement in all areas.
His next round of chemo will begin on Monday, May 1st. Pray that the cancer will not continue to progress before then.
I expect the rest of the time my dad is being treated, should be spent at home. He will go into the oncology clinic every other Monday to receive 3 treatments through his chest port. Then, they will attach a pump that he will wear at home for two days, which they will remove on Wednesday. The cycle will be repeated every two weeks for up to 6 months.
That's our plan of action right now. Pray. Keep my dad eating and drinking properly. Pray. Keep him from getting dehydrated. Pray. Make sure he's getting rest. Pray. Manage his pain. Pray. Take chemo treatments. Pray.
Despite all the difficulties, we continue to be astounded by the ways that God works to perfect his children. The resurrection visibly works in the lives of believers when we place our hope in God's grace, and his perfect plan. And, life, given by Christ, grows stronger in my dad, and in us, even in the midst of pain, sickness and death. We continue to count this all joy and God continues to bless that. That's my witness of what I see in front of me and around me right now.
Let us praise God from whom all blessings flow and let us count our trials as joy. Let us be changed by the resurrection daily as we grow to understand better God's grace and the merciful way he deals with his children.
Thanks be to God.
- David
That's much of what I'm dealing with right now. Watching my dad deal with pain, emotions, embarassments. Helping him with daily care.
This week has been very long for me. My dad actually progressed enough to come home from the hospital yesterday though which is good. I took my brother and his wife and daughter to the airport yesterday. They had been in town for about 11 days, a big blessing. We are transitioning back to my dad being home again, trying to eat, deal with nausea, and figure out how to do other basic things that have to be done very carefully when you are receiving chemo treatment.
Some praises. His kidney function, which looked very bad earlier this week, causing the doctors to consider dialysis, has completely reversed itself and is almost back to normal again. The chemo seems to be having some good physical effets, as it's lessening his back pain for the first time in months. Some other uncomfortable areas that have had swelling are going down slightly too. He is managing pain pretty well with minimal help.
Prayer requests. His throat has been ripped up by vomiting, and there are very few foods that he can tolerate because of this. Pray that his throat will begin to heal. Pray that he will keep food down to get the calories and nutrients his body needs. Pray that swelling in his legs from sitting for days in the hospital will go down. And, pray for other swelling due to the cancer to go down as well. He is getting better sleep now than before he went to the hospital this time, so that's good. Pray that he will continue to be able to get the basics his body needs to survive, good sleep, proper food and drink, etc, and that the chemo would continue to work effectively.
He goes into his oncologist on Tuesday morning for blood work to check for tumor markers in his blood, to make sure his white blood cell counts are high enough, and to further check his kidney function. Pray that the results show marked improvement in all areas.
His next round of chemo will begin on Monday, May 1st. Pray that the cancer will not continue to progress before then.
I expect the rest of the time my dad is being treated, should be spent at home. He will go into the oncology clinic every other Monday to receive 3 treatments through his chest port. Then, they will attach a pump that he will wear at home for two days, which they will remove on Wednesday. The cycle will be repeated every two weeks for up to 6 months.
That's our plan of action right now. Pray. Keep my dad eating and drinking properly. Pray. Keep him from getting dehydrated. Pray. Make sure he's getting rest. Pray. Manage his pain. Pray. Take chemo treatments. Pray.
Despite all the difficulties, we continue to be astounded by the ways that God works to perfect his children. The resurrection visibly works in the lives of believers when we place our hope in God's grace, and his perfect plan. And, life, given by Christ, grows stronger in my dad, and in us, even in the midst of pain, sickness and death. We continue to count this all joy and God continues to bless that. That's my witness of what I see in front of me and around me right now.
Let us praise God from whom all blessings flow and let us count our trials as joy. Let us be changed by the resurrection daily as we grow to understand better God's grace and the merciful way he deals with his children.
Thanks be to God.
- David
Friday, March 31, 2006
More Thoughts About Words
I always find when I write, that I write so much more than the message I really want to convey. And, I'm sure I will continue to do that here.
Between a comment my brother posted about my last post, and an email he sent to me, he hit on the absolute core of what I really wanted to say in my last couple of posts. It only took a few good words in the comment and in his email, but I thought about them a good bit, and I'm going to ramble here about my thoughts.
God's word is enough. When God speaks, nothing matters, but what He is saying. God's very word creates peace and joy, as well as brings blessing to His people. God's word is the only word powerful enough to bring a universe into being, and the only word powerful enough, by itself, to bring hope into my heart.
The word hope, in it's verb form, is used so often, just as "love" is. Truly, we can all decide to use these words how we wish, and I use both of these on a daily basis to mean lots of things. My thought is this though. When we use the verb forms of these words so freely in our daily language in discussing unimportant things, we often fail to recognize the difference when we use both the verb and noun forms of the words in discussing weightier things. We make trite, words and phrases that truly do have meaning, in spite of what any dictionary says or doesn't say about the words.
But, I don't think that's the root of the problem. This is where we get to the real issue. "I love my car." "I love God." Do these really have different meanings? Sure, because we really do love our cars, houses, jobs, families, whatever, and we don't really love God. Or, I guess I should say, that we love Him on a lesser level than we do these other things, when our love for God should be exponentially greater than our love for things and people. Our hope in God should be exponentially greater than our hope in and for things.
So, maybe we don't need to stop using hope and love in everyday language. Maybe we ourselves just need to learn, and teach, the sure confidence of the gospel, the gospel of Jesus Christ by which we see the very worth of God Himself. Maybe we need to look at our savior, and learn what love really is; See God's promises fulfilled in Christ and know why we have hope. Maybe it's not about words. Perhaps it's about doing more than just pretending to be God's people, and about having real experience with the subjects we're discussing when we use these words, hope, and love, in light of the gospel. Maybe then the words really will have meaning.
- david
Between a comment my brother posted about my last post, and an email he sent to me, he hit on the absolute core of what I really wanted to say in my last couple of posts. It only took a few good words in the comment and in his email, but I thought about them a good bit, and I'm going to ramble here about my thoughts.
God's word is enough. When God speaks, nothing matters, but what He is saying. God's very word creates peace and joy, as well as brings blessing to His people. God's word is the only word powerful enough to bring a universe into being, and the only word powerful enough, by itself, to bring hope into my heart.
The word hope, in it's verb form, is used so often, just as "love" is. Truly, we can all decide to use these words how we wish, and I use both of these on a daily basis to mean lots of things. My thought is this though. When we use the verb forms of these words so freely in our daily language in discussing unimportant things, we often fail to recognize the difference when we use both the verb and noun forms of the words in discussing weightier things. We make trite, words and phrases that truly do have meaning, in spite of what any dictionary says or doesn't say about the words.
But, I don't think that's the root of the problem. This is where we get to the real issue. "I love my car." "I love God." Do these really have different meanings? Sure, because we really do love our cars, houses, jobs, families, whatever, and we don't really love God. Or, I guess I should say, that we love Him on a lesser level than we do these other things, when our love for God should be exponentially greater than our love for things and people. Our hope in God should be exponentially greater than our hope in and for things.
So, maybe we don't need to stop using hope and love in everyday language. Maybe we ourselves just need to learn, and teach, the sure confidence of the gospel, the gospel of Jesus Christ by which we see the very worth of God Himself. Maybe we need to look at our savior, and learn what love really is; See God's promises fulfilled in Christ and know why we have hope. Maybe it's not about words. Perhaps it's about doing more than just pretending to be God's people, and about having real experience with the subjects we're discussing when we use these words, hope, and love, in light of the gospel. Maybe then the words really will have meaning.
- david
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